Someone tell me where the past 5.5 years have gone. Because today I had to send my 'baby' out into the big wide world to take his first real steps at becoming his own person. Yeah ok....I know he is not really a baby and I also know that he has spent 2.5yrs at daycare and kinder, so he has not exactly been hidden behind my apron. But the times that he has spent away from me have been limited and short and the bulk of his learning, nurturing, educating and discipline has largely come from me. But from today, this will all change. Forever.
I know that for some time to come, I will form the basis of his life. I will be the platform from which he launches. But today, Tom started primary school and whilst it was a hugely joyous occasion for us all, it was also a time for sadness and mourning of the passing of time and the realisation that other people will now play significant roles in my son's life. And these relationships will also make him into the man he will become. I have to share. And I'm not all that ready to let go and hand over joint responsibility.
But whether we like it or not, it is time. It is possibly harder for us mums that are sending our first borns out to the word. Will I be like this with Biddy and Bella? I don't know. I know that Mark doesn't think so, as he recorded me sniffling and weeping in the foyer of the prep room today. He said that thought that the emotion should be captured because when it comes to be Biddy's turn, there will be less tears, and by the time Bella's gets to primary school, I will be opening the car door and kicking her out!
After all is said and done, it really is an exciting time for all of us. For Tom, it means a steep learning curve, new friends, new responsibilities, new skills and the chance to develop his own persona away from the family. For me it means new acquaintances, new opportunities, a more developed relationship with Tom, some measure of freedom and the chance to review my parenting skills over the past 5.5yrs. For the girls, it means developing a relationship with each other without the distraction of Tom's presence. I'm not really sure what it means for Mark. I haven't asked him!
St Mary's feels like such the right choice for us and the kids. I'm not sure how other primary schools handle newbies, but we have events lined up in order to welcome us into the school community and to ease the transition into school life.
I hope all those that are starting prep this year have a great time....and mums...take the tissues with you. Be proud of the happy tears. And trust me, you will not be the only one weeping in the foyer as your son or daughter struts proudly into the classroom in a uniform that seems two sizes too big. There are plenty of us crying too!
